How It Works
Every website deserves its day in court.
File the Evidence
Submit any URL. Our system launches a headless browser, captures a full screenshot of your site, and extracts the page structure — headings, navigation, meta tags, security headers, performance metrics, and the visible text. Everything a human critic would see on their first visit, measured precisely.
Choose Your Judge
Each judge is a fully realized critic with their own expertise, standards, and personality. They don't follow a checklist — they form an opinion. The Elitist has 35 years of design standards. The Vibe Coder sees where your design breaks your code. The Cynic wants to know where the money is. Pick the perspective that matters most to you.
Watch the Examination
While your judge reviews the evidence, you watch a live examination of your site. A magnifying glass moves across your screenshot, pausing at areas of interest. As the judge finds issues, they appear in real-time — a preview of the verdict to come.
Receive the Verdict
The gavel drops. You receive a letter grade, a summary, and detailed findings grouped by severity — Critical Offenses, Major Offenses, Minor Offenses, and Nitpicks. Each finding includes the judge's explanation and, often, a memorable one-liner you won't forget. The verdict concludes with a final written judgment and the judge's signature.
File an Appeal
Every finding comes with an Appeal button. Click it and you get a pre-written prompt — formatted for Claude, ChatGPT, Cursor, or any AI assistant — that describes the exact issue and asks for a specific, actionable fix. Copy it, paste it, fix it. You can also appeal all charges at once for a complete action plan.
The court finds you guilty. But it also hands you the path to redemption.
The Bench
These aren't generic AI reviews. Each judge sees your site differently because they care about different things.
The Elitist
The Design Critic
Visual design, typography, color, spacing, hierarchy
The Vibe Coder
The Full-Stack Critic
Cross-domain issues — where design breaks code, code contradicts copy, infrastructure degrades experience
The Cynic
The Business Critic
Value proposition, pricing, conversion paths, trust signals, business model clarity
The Prophet
The Bare-Metal Critic
System self-transparency — does the site know what it is? Does its self-description match its reality?
Sören the Savant
The Compiler
Code architecture, performance, script bloat, resource loading — byte-level forensics
The Dad
The Clarity Critic
UX clarity, navigation, findability — if a master electrician can't figure it out, nobody can
The Boomer
The Invisible Conventions Critic
Accessibility, readability, invisible conventions — every problem he finds is a real usability failure
Two Ways to Be Judged
Choose the depth of scrutiny your site receives.
Quick Ruling
Fast · 3-5 findings
A swift assessment. The judge glances at your site and delivers a rapid verdict. Best for quick sanity checks or when you want a high-level opinion without the ceremony.
Full Trial
Thorough · 8-15 findings · Live examination
The complete courtroom experience. Watch the judge examine your site in real-time through a magnifying glass, then receive a comprehensive verdict with categorized findings, severity ratings, and the full written judgment.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are the reviews actually useful?
Yes. Each judge analyzes your actual screenshot and page data — not a template. The findings are specific to your site, referencing your actual headings, colors, copy, performance metrics, and security headers. The Appeal feature turns each finding into an actionable fix you can implement immediately.
How many verdicts do I get?
2 free verdicts per day. The first verdict of the day shows all findings (no paywall). The second shows the top 3 “gold nugget” findings with the rest behind a paywall — that’s your taste of what the full report unlocks. The counter resets every 24 hours. This includes both Quick Rulings and Full Trials.
Can I share my review?
Every review gets a unique URL that you can share with anyone. The full verdict, charges, and one-liners are all visible. Share your shame — or your vindication.
Is my site data stored?
The review itself (grade, findings, verdict) is stored so you can share the URL. The raw site data and screenshot are not stored after the review is generated. See our Privacy Policy for full details.
What does “File an Appeal” do?
It generates a pre-written prompt that describes the specific issue found in your site, formatted for any AI assistant (Claude, ChatGPT, Cursor, etc.). Copy it, paste it into your AI tool, and get a targeted fix with code changes. It's the bridge between knowing what's wrong and knowing how to fix it.
All proceedings are final. No appeals.
(Well, actually, there are appeals now. That's the whole point.)